Eating on the Toilet: The Growing Leniency of Dating in the Workplace

For anyone who works anywhere, we all know that pursuing a romantic (or casually promiscuous) relationship within the same work space is usually highly discouraged and in most cases prohibited in company policy.  However it doesn’t help that we spend most of our days and waking hours around the same coworkers.  Human nature somehow permeates and we do what we do best: get busy.

Although this practice has always been frowned upon on multiple levels, there seems to be a recent shift in attitudes, in a more shameless direction

I began working at a call center for IT support, and I cannot say for whom.  Regardless, this place was like many other call centers, messy with its corporate organization and interpersonal relationships.  The ages ranged from 18-65, but many of my peers were my peers, around my age with a margin of 5 years.

Corporate romances pose many threats:

  • Employees are distracted and less productive
  • Sexual Harassment charges are likely to increase
  • Company favoritism (real and perceptual) has room to breed

All of these were apparent at my job.  Every third person was involved with somebody at this company, and goodness was the gossip thick!

I had a coworker, who we’ll call Dory, who  was in a group with me on the first day of training orientation, just another new girl but a few years my junior.  As the months went by, she became a trainer herself.  I also assisted lightly with this new training group.  I witnessed her growing interest in a boy in her class, we’ll call him Mark, and once he graduated orientation they were always sitting next to each other.  They didn’t care to hide it.   Mark would flagrantly flirt with Dory and ask her about her plans for the night.

I approached Dory one day and asked her politely if they were actually dating, and she excitedly nodded her head and said, “Yeah!”

The words came out of my mouth before I could even think about stopping them.

“Why would you sh*t where you eat?”

She gave me the most dazed and confused look.  As if the question itself was incredibly asinine.  As if I should easily understand why she’s dating Mark so openly.  Dory didn’t answer, just shrugged me off like a teenager.

Just like many shifts happening in this time, the blame is placed on millennials.  But this isn’t another “cry millennials” case either.  Rather, there is statistical backing to it.

In 2012, The Huffington Post reported a survey on workers between the ages of 18-29.  84% of participants admitted they would have a romantic relationship with one of their coworkers.  Only 36% of GenX and 29% of Baby Boomers shared that sentiment.

In 2014, Forbes reported that 71% of people involved in corporate relationships don’t put much effort into hiding it.

So free thinking millennials are pushing boundaries once again.  Of course they may be engaging in relationships with older generations, which spreads the attitude shift across the board, slowly but surely.  They are actively making the case for this type of relationship as well.  We spend most of our time with our coworkers, in a work force where we predominately start off single, and a good 31% of workplace relationships end up at the alter.  Finding your spouse at the same place you find your check may not be the worst thing.

But is it really worth the corporate risks? The potential drama that can push through your home and work life?

For me, personally, no it is not.  But you can’t help who you fall for I suppose.

Also, does this shift in attitude have the potential to shift corporate policies in the future?

Well only time will tell…and it may be sooner than one assumes…with the growing support and engagement and all….

 

 

References:

http://brandongaille.com/19-unbelievable-workplace-romance-statistics/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/09/office-romances-on-the-rise-among-millennial-employees_n_1412190.html

http://www.forbes.com/sites/peggydrexler/2014/04/07/the-truth-about-office-romance/#63d5d4a4413c

…Why Greedy Though?

Greedy Girl With Pile Of Sweets

“So you date boys AND girls? That’s greedy….”

If your sexual preference includes more than one gender you’ve probably been told this, and it probably rubbed you worse than sandpaper on eczema.

Because it should have.  It makes absolutely no sense.

I am pansexual, which means I don’t care what parts you have or what gender you choose.  Bisexual is different from that in the sense that a bi person would typically want a cis-gendered male or female.  I don’t really care if you’re cis or trans or what have you.  If you’re an awesome person (and physically attractive by my standards) then you have a chance with me.  It took me a while to find that word, so for the longest time I was just telling people I was bisexual.  Both forms of revealing my preference were oft times met with some dumb statements and stereotypes.

But greedy?  That might take the cake of illogical.  Here’s why:

Greed holds no preference, just people.

Just because my scope of dating is wider than yours, doesn’t make me any more greedy than the next person.  What makes you greedy, is being greedy.  There are plenty of greedy heterosexual and homosexual people.  They can be the cheaters, or  the players, the bachelors, etc.  But here’s my question: how am I greedy if I’m still dating one person at a time?

Greed implies a limit.

Let’s be honest.  If I wanted to have all the people I wanted to have, I still wouldn’t have every single human being in the world.  I’m not taking 20 cookies out of a jar that has 21.  My dating pool doesn’t affect yours.  It didn’t change when you learned my preference.  And if I happened to steal away your crush, it’s because I’m better than you.  That’s it.

Is it even greed? Or do you just want to hear your voice?

It seems like anytime a person is romantically or sexually liberal, they’re deemed immoral if they’re not a cis-gendered male.  If I were a straight guy, I could have a harem and it would be overlooked.

Monogamy is not the only type of love.  Polyamorous people can hold healthy romantic relationships with multiple people at a time.  If that works for them, then good for them.  We encounter different people and beliefs everyday.  As a race, humans should be conscious that there are way too many people in the world for all of us to think and feel the exact same way.  Any relationship dynamic you can literally think of exists.  You don’t have to agree with all the differences, but you should never put someone else down because of them.  If it’s all consensual, who cares?

Those are just my big three.  The main point I want to drive home is just don’t be disrespectful.  You asked me for a piece of personal information and I decided to tell you.  Don’t ask about my preferences and my beliefs just so you can try to shit on them.

If you have anything else to add or refute, please don’t hesitate to comment ^_^.